Okay. Not smart last night. Met Calli (Kelly), did crack with her. She was 
very tweaky. Not as pretty as last time I saw her, though her black eye is 
better. I mean still my dream babe ... I guess ... best to see her at 
intervals, with time in between... I like her, I find her sexually attractive 
(though I'm still too intimidated to have sex with her). I'm firmly aware 
that she's with me because I give her money, and soon she tires of even that.

Shit, I must keep my job, so I must go in tomorrow. Must sleep...

Am I free? But then I get stressed. I am not yet free.

2001-01-10